On the runs...

I spent a few hours working and helping out at a smaller hospital today. My day began by giving lactation diet instructions to about 7 new mom's who are purely Spanish speaking only. Being women from Mexico, I only assumed they had already had children before, probably a 1982 Chevrolet Astrovan full of children, but to my surprise all were new mothers. Now almost every time i walk into a patients room I am usually overpowered by the smell of feces or gangrene plagued limbs, but the smell of a new mothers room is very different, usually the marriage of flowers and flatulent fill the air.

Preceding the numerous amounts blank stares and shoulder shrugs by these Border-Hopper's, I made my way back to my office only to find a trail of brown spatters trailing down the hall. As most know, most hospitals have various colored tiles marking the trail to different units of the institution, for example, a pink tile might lead to the pediatric unit, green paint arrows on the wall might lead to oncology, or the smell of fried chicken might lead to a nurses break room etc. I had no other choice but to take this route due to the amount of construction so I had to endure the smell of the mystery liquid lining the hallway. As i got close to my office i noticed the trail began to get lumpier and thicker and a large pudding like mass sat in front of my office door like some insensitive childhood prank. Apparently this cruel Santa Clause couldn't make it to the bathroom, only 3 feet from my office door.